Checking things is a very normal and expected behaviour. We might check the oven is off, or that the front door is locked every so often, but how much time do we actually spend checking?
When we check, we are trying to get certainty, and dispel doubt. A very simple behaviour, for a relieving and anxiety-reducing outcome; sounds good right? Generally it is... until it isn't anymore. Have you ever caught yourself:
Opening a chat repeatedly see if someone has replied
Having to go back and forth to a door to just check again it is locked
Just checking your body once more in case you missed an important symptom
Looking at somebody over and over again to reassure yourself that they aren't judging you
Those are just some examples, and they may or not be familiar, but they are important. As checking is linked to reducing anxiety and uncertainty, it makes sense that we may end up spending more and more time checking things when we feel more anxious (and vice versa).
On a small level that is okay, but okay time this can distract us from other jobs, waste our valuable time, and make us even more anxious. Think about it, the more you do something the less memorable it is (e.g. how many individual tooth brushing experiences can you really recall in detail), so we may check so much we've forgotten exactly what we noticed whilst checking! Plus, every time you check, you are basically reinforcing and rewarding anxious thoughts. Very quickly checking can become cyclical and trap us.
If you are caught in this cycle, CBT can suggest a range of ideas to help break the cycle, free you from repeated checking, and hopefully reduce that anxiety:
Set yourself rules on how often/long you can check for (and maybe ask someone to help enforce them)
Experiment with checking, and see if your worst fears really come true if you go an extra few minutes without checking right away
Sit down, breathe for a minute, and question your own thoughts; do you really have to go and check again if you can bring your rational brain online a little more?
If you can't help checking, do it once and say it out loud as you do it to make the process more memorable and less likely to be done again 'just in case'
Like most short-term anxiety-relieving behaviours, it can be a little addictive to check, get reassurance, google things, and try to eliminate all uncertainty and uncontrollability. At the end of the day however, we can never have total certainty or control, and so learning to embrace them rather than trying to control them may be a more helpful, relaxing, and happier strategy in the long-run.
Thanks for reading, I hope you found it interesting, and please take care!
Lots of love, JanTalksPsych :)
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