Think Pac Man is just an oddly charming hungry circle from the 1980s? Well, you are right... but you can also think again, as Pac Man makes for a great visualisation of how we can all get caught up in unhelpful beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.
What is this mental Pac Man?
When I talk about the mental Pac Man, I don't necessarily mean the Pac Man in arcades, but I do mean the Pac Man that gobbles up lots of things all the time. However, for our mental Pac Man, it eats thoughts and information of particular shapes and themes, not just yellow blobs.
Imagine it like this. Our mind is a Pac Man wandering around all day, looking for information and thoughts to take in, but there's a catch. There is sometimes very limited information that our Pac Man can take in, and it may only eat triangles, or squares, or circles, and so on.
"So what?", one might ask. Let it have what it wants. Right? Well that can be a problem, as if we let our mind (and Pac Man) just dictate it's diet without any oversight, we can end up with very biased information coming in, and not a lot else. Suddenly, our core beliefs are holding us back rather than helping us. Let's look at an example.
This Pac Man only eats squares, which happen to have a shared theme of 'I am not good enough'. Every day as thoughts and situations come up, the information it will take in is thoughts like 'I failed at that', or 'They only like me because they don't know the real me'. Other ideas like 'I'm as good as others', or 'I don't have to do anything to be worth something'? Those thoughts and ideas are spat out and cast aside; they just don't fit the diet. The more of that single theme our mental Pac Man takes in, the bigger it gets... and the bigger it gets... and the more our mind truly believes 'I am not good enough' (...or whatever the dietary theme is).
Why should I care about some Pac Man in my head?
Assuming our Pac Man is like the above one, taking in a very rigid diet of thoughts and ideas, why does it matter? It matters because the thoughts we have, and the thoughts we accept, have a big impact. According to cognitive behavioural theory and therapists, out thoughts and beliefs are linked to not only how we feel emotionally, but also our physical feelings and behaviours. If we don't think we are good enough/deserving/able to cope, we'll try fewer things, feel more anxious, experience lower mood, struggle with sleep and hunger, and more.
Once we recognise this, we can do something about it; we don't have to be passive victims of our thoughts. Imagine if, rather than only taking in those thoughts like 'I'm not good enough', we could also take in 'I worked hard to achieve that', and 'People do like me, they just show it in their own way'. And what if we could take those initial ideas and spruce them up a little so they feel a little different? Chances our, the main content of our Pac Man (AKA our core belief) can start to shift, as can our feelings and behaviours.
How do I spot the elusive Pac Man?
We all have a mental Pac Man, although we all take in our own personal mix of information and funky shapes. Some of us will take in largely unhelpful information, some of us will be more accurate in some situations over others, and for many of us we just don't know; spotting it can take time! Thankfully, a mental Pac Man is not as elusive as an arcade machine these days.
There are three key ways that we can 'easily' spot a mental Pac Man, although it can take practice.
Emotional change. Noticing a sudden change in emotion? Maybe we were having a good day and a single comment or event changes how we were feeling. It could even be a social media post that reminds of us something, but suddenly we feel sad, anxious, stressed, or another horrible feeling.
Spotting our own thoughts. If we have the same type of thoughts cropping up all day, this might be a giveaway. When our brain always tells us the same thing, to the same theme, chances are that we are no longer seeing the nuances and messiness of life. All or nothing thinking is a good sign that our Pac Man is eating a very limited diet of information.
'Stuckness'. Let's say thoughts aren't giving much away, and your emotions feel pretty... stuck? Well that is also a good sign. For some of us, we've become so used to taking in a certain narrative, that our core beliefs and Pac Man seem totally normal, and new information feels out of place. Our mood is stuck because there is nothing varied coming in, and so often our behaviours and thoughts are stuck too.
What do I do once I've caught one?
So, maybe you've noticed it! This Pac Man dictating your core beliefs has revealed itself in a difficult moment, and there seems to be some sort of theme to what you are being fed. Thankfully, there are also three key ways to challenge your Pac Man, change your diet, and form core beliefs that serve to help you, not hurt you.
Vary your diet. It sounds simple, and can feel a little fake at first, but force-feeding yourself can be a great first step. If you always get the message 'I can't cope', tell yourself you can cope. Think about what you would say to a good friend. Actively seek out times in the day you have coped no matter how small, and let that information in. No matter what your core belief and Pac Man believes now, there is almost always more information out there.
Challenge your diet. I like think of this as seasoning. If an unhealthy Pac Man is always eating plain potatoes (which also happens to tell you that 'I'm not good enough), spice it up and change the thought. Rather than introducing new foods and ideas like above, challenging the thoughts that come in can change them into something more helpful. Is it really true you are NEVER good enough? Does NOBODY like you? Did you really do NOTHING yesterday? By virtue of existing, most of achieve small tasks every day, interact with people, or at least worth more than others (think of some terrible historical figure or someone you despise; you are probably worth more and kinder/smarter/something'er more than them)!
Experiment. Possible the most important step, as it naturally varies your mental diet and challenges the ideas coming in. If you believe that nobody likes you, or that you can't cope... test it out! Maybe start small by messaging people, or taking on a small task for the day. No matter what happens, reflect on what you did, how it went, and whether you coped? And then, use that information to keep going. Scientists don't just take the first finding they find and run with it, they test it to make sure they are being accurate and helpful. You owe yourself the same with your beliefs.
Hopefully by now you have spotted at least one mental Pac Man you have, and have possibly thought of ways to change your mental diet and core beliefs. Whether you are looking for new ideas that you normally ignore, challenging the thoughts running through your head, or testing whether things really are as scary or difficult as your beliefs tell you, everything is a chance to learn about what works for you.
Whether you enjoy the Pac Man analogy of our brains eating up the same shapes and themes, I wish you all the best in reflecting on your beliefs, what they mean to you, and how they could be most helpful for you.
Lots of love, Jan Talks Psych xoxo
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