Explaining and understanding mindfulness has become a real fascination for me recently, because I am yet to meet anybody who has the same mental route into it. I was sceptical for years about mindfulness, and every week find myself relating differently to so many explanations of it. Ideas that used to turn me off mindfulness now feel profound, and the ideas that got me into mindfulness now seem off the mark. That being said, I'm always looking for new ways to understand it, and my latest conceptualisation has been... dodgems.
Is this a particularly relevant time to talk about this in society? Not really. But it came up recently in my practice so I thought I'd write it down anyway...
Most of us live, essentially, in the midst of a massive dodgem track/arena/whatever. A gross simplification, but that's how my head can feel sometimes. Thinking back to the hot cross bun I've talked about before, there are thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviours all just racing around in our heads, bouncing off of each other rapidly and getting us through each day. Thoughts can feel fleeting, emotions can come out of nowhere, and before we know it we are frustrated, downing a packet of biscuits, or lying in bed needing to just stop (and when I say we, this is clearly me). All of these experiences happen so quickly and it often feels like all we can do it react to the next thought or feeling that sends us flying sideways.
But what if we could step out of the dodgems (of our mind)?
What if rather than sitting amongst the dodgems of our mind, we could sit and watch them? What if we could see how our thoughts and feelings all knock from one to the other, but without being forced around by them? That is, at the moment at least, the most jovial yet simple way I can understand mindfulness. All of this mental stuff pushed us through every day, but by stopping, sitting, and watching we can take ourselves out of the chaos.
Importantly, this sort of mindfulness doesn't stop the chaos. It continues. But that is okay, as we aren't trying to change it, we are trying to watch it. Often I found myself knocked my sudden waves of emotions, or sudden thoughts of not being enough. If I am in that arena letting that guide my next few minutes, before I know it a day or week can be consumed by those thoughts and feelings. But if I take a couple of minutes to sit without distraction, that thought just becomes one of a hundred dodgems that I don't need to be controlled by anymore.
Have you read this, and now the predominant thought is 'what a load of garbage'? Fab, that's cool, because mindfulness is individual to you and my light-hearted explanation may even put you off mindfulness. That doesn't mean it isn't for you, but it means that this way of relating to yourself might not be the way forward. Even better, if you have a better explanation of the mind and how to be a little freer of its whims, let me know by comment, email, or snail mail (just kidding of course, please don't do that).
Thanks for taking the time to have my thoughts beamed into your brain by little lights in a device, and I hope you take some time off your dodgems soon!
Lots of love from JanTalksPsych xx
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